Eli's Great Puppy Search

I'm pretty sure Cass is featured on my Instagram page more than I am.

If you know me, or have been following me on any of my social networking websites, you will know that I love animals and, together with my roommate, have two of the best pets for which a guy could ever ask. I grew up in Texas where we raised several dogs at once and taking care of Cass, a five-year-old pitbull mix rescue, in New York City opened my eyes to the vast different between the two worlds. I now find myself not only ready for, but actively looking to adopt, a new pup to add to my life and our pack at home so the search for my new best friend has begun!

Gotta Love Those Click Rewards!

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The Most Common Relationship Mistake Gay Men Make

I just finished reading an article in Revolutionary Gay Magazine about the common relationship mistakes gay men make and I couldn't disagree more. I stopped reading after it listed "Open Relationships" as a common mistake gay men make. If anything we, as gay men, make the common mistake of equivocating ourselves with our heterosexual counterparts - the most prominent of which is our sex and sexuality. While this article does make a few good points, including hastily attaching yourself to your partner and the need to respect each others boundaries, it reads and panders as a whiny attempt to heteronormatize homosexual relationships.

Saying Goodbye to Splash Bar NYC

It was announced earlier today that New York City's legendary gay dance club, Splash will be closing its doors permanently on the 10th of August 2013. After two decades of being the go-to nightlife venue for meeting other hot, sexy guys, Splash will be celebrating the countdown to its final farewell by serving up ten amazing parties beginning on the first of August.

Before I say goodbye to the site where such epic adventures and sexcapades unfolded, I'd like to look back and highlight some of the best times I had getting kicked out of Splash.

Remember That Time I Knowingly Touched A Vagina

Here's the deal: I like vagina just about as much as the next- no, that's not true. Sorry, ladies, but I'm not actually that big a fan of that thing you've got between your legs. I knew it was a trap when first I landed into it, but I blame my youthful innocence and resolute belief that there is good in everyone. I blame my friends for daring me to do it. I'll touch your boobs - those are fun; but that? No, thanks.

Ben Rimalower Has Patti Issues

"Your tie's crooked, doll."

My good friend Ben Rimalower is afflicted with an ailment known as Patti Issues, "a condition wherein the patient experiences a transference of love he didn't receive in his childhood onto actress and singer Patti LuPone." Luckily for him there is hope yet! You can help Ben by celebrating his road to recovery at the one year anniversary of his solo play fittingly titled "Patti Issues" at the Duplex in New York City (61 Christopher Street, New York, NY 10014 - on 7th Avenue).

Check out this FunnyOrDie PSA featuring Alan Cumming and Patti LuPone (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ae5b5f7ba1).

Remember That Time I Fucked Harry Styles of One Direction?

Stop smiling at the ground, you weirdo.

One magical (oh, dear lord, I can already hear Bianca Del Rio's) night at the Ritz, my roommate Jason (www.twitter.com/JasonLeeCourson) and I were at The Ritz Bar and Lounge in Hell's Kitchen for Miss Bianca's weekly Monday night drag show that starts three hours after the advertised time, and a gorgeous twink was looking our way and eye raping one of us. Jason, having a penchant for twinks, immediately locked onto his target and exclaimed, "Look at that boy across the room who looks like all of One Direction put into one!"

Restaurant Review: Hell's Chicken

I love to explore and try new things so when a new restaurant in my neighborhood of Hell's Kitchen (Midtown West in Manhattan, for those of y'all blissfully unaware) opened earlier this year I made a beeline for it and fell face-first into my plate. Hell's Chicken, a Thai barbecue restaurant playfully named after its specialty chicken dishes and location, was recommended to my roommate and I by a good friend. Our first impression upon walking in was not the artfully designed layout, full bar, or adorable logo printed on the menus, but instead by the gorgeous blond hair, blue-eyed beauty we had for a waiter... at a Thai restaurant. We hoped to hell that our food would taste as good as he looked!

You've Got Questions, I've Got Snarky Remarks Threaded Into My Answers

I created an ask.fm profile to answer a lot of your questions and haven't quite been able to get through them all, but listed below are some of the favorite ones I have answered thus far. I really need to better allot my time to get back to all of you, and I'm trying my darnedest, but as a friend of mine once asked, "Why aren't you writing about or recording your sexcapades more?" I promptly answered, "I'm having too much gay sex to have time to write about all of them."