Buy Your Tickets Now to HUSTLABALL NEW YORK 2013

I remember my first HustlaBall like it was only yesterday, how I took to the red carpet with Sister Roma, got gagged and fucked by several porn stars on and offstage. These are tears of nostalgia streaming down my face - we all know my gag reflex has been missing for years now. As we make preparations to get HustlaBall New York 2013 in full gear, I look back over this past year and smile at all I have accomplished, wag my tail to all those who've tapped this, and am horny with excitement for all that's to come! Well, now that I've properly annoyed you all with the waiting... here is our official press release for this year's big party!

There's a Pounding in My Head

I'm pretty sure I was hit by a bike, car, or dragon.

...but wait, isn't there supposed to be a stranger in my bed as well? Last Friday night really was a blur; a painful, scratched up, messy blur which resulted in the cuts and bruises (seen above) of which I still have no idea how I acquired. It was a fun, night though, from what I can remember. We started off at Rock Bar on Christopher Street in the West Village and by the third bar I began to knock back shots as if my life depended on it. Mind you, I was only aiming for twenty one points but I'm sure I would have accrued more if I wasn't such a drunk mess that I forgot to go to the referees each time I purchased another cocktail.

7 Days with Eli: It's Finally Friday!

My roommate, Jason, hates it when I say this but: Thank GOD it's Friday! This has been quite the long week but now with the weekend almost upon me, I'm excited to announce that Hustlaball New York 2013 is officially in full gear as we set up one of the hottest parties of the year. I've been working with Christopher Daniels to recruit porn stars who will be in town for Columbus Day weekend and are wanting to perform with us onstage and we have over thirty hot guys confirmed for the big day! If you haven't already purchased your tickets, be sure to do so now to catch the early bird special!

7 Days with Eli: Mondaze

This is what happens every time Rafael and I run into each other on our block.

My days don't really begin until I get off work at 6PM and actually become a real person, but by that point I'm so tired that all I want to do is go to the gym, wank one out, and go to bed. I don't really like to go out and party like other twenty-somethings in New York City who get plastered at a club and dance shirtless with a horde of sweaty bodies, find their soul mate from across the crowded room, and make out until they wake up next to each other the next morning not knowing the other's name. I may be generalizing a population of my... I guess we can call them "peers," but what I'm trying to say is that I'm more of a homebody who prefers lively piano and dive bars to the thumpa thumpa of a megaclub when going out for a night with the boys.

Can Someone Just, Like, Wake Me Up - You Know, When September Ends?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.