Friday, September 6, 2013

Can Someone Just, Like, Wake Me Up - You Know, When September Ends?

Last we spoke on here Cass and I were on our Great Puppy Search, so if you're not following me on Twitter @EliLewisXXX (why you're not, I have NO idea - but you SHOULD since I'm constantly twatting tweeting whatever) then you wouldn't know that I've been fostering my adorable pup, Lady, for the past three weeks! Lady, formerly Ruben, is a two (maybe three?) year-old male Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who I found through the Mayor's Alliance.

They're an amazing organization that works closely with the ASPCA who make it their mission to save and find great homes for their sheltered animals. If you're looking for a new pet, I highly recommend you take a page from their book and make adoption your first option!

A lot of people asked me why I would name my male dog "Lady" in the first place to which I respond with the video linked above. He's such a PRETTY dog that I wanted to give him a name that appropriately fit his appearance and personality. Georgie was a name that I considered, but after a lot of thought I was choosing between the very feminine "Lady" and thoroughly masculine "Axel." I couldn't make up my mind so I made the best of the situation and officially named him Lady Axel, to the confusion of our vet. Pronouns ain't no thang, though - call him/her what you want!

Puppies aside, I've learned quite a few things since my last blog posting which I would now like to impart upon all of you so as not to make the same mistakes, revel in my victories, laugh with or at me, and/or live vicariously through my exploits and adventures.

I'm Eating and Drinking My Salary Away!

I started keeping a record of my earnings and expenses six months ago to monitor my spending and keep tabs on all of my frivolities and excess purchases. Now that I've hit the half year mark I've noticed a very troubling trend: I eat and drink all of my money away. I've always known I was a bit of a glutton, but DEAR LORD - if you could only see the amount of money I spend per month on booze and dining out! The occasional splurge at a restaurant is totally acceptable, but this?! No. Stop it.

As such, I'm beginning to set a budget for myself starting this September 2013 to buy more groceries, cook from home, and pack lunches to work. I'm not necessarily going to cut down on the drinking as I am being more selective about when and were I choose to spend my money. Why go to the most expensive (and usually most obnoxious and just unnecessary) venues in Manhattan, when I can spend quality time with friends, bartenders, and cocktails at a far more favorable and cheaper location? Happy hour at Hardware Bar NYC, anyone?

I Should Probably Start Bartending on the Side...

I love my job, I really do - and being able to still work as a dancer/performer/choreographer/instructor is just icing on top of the cake. But cake does not pay my rent; I don't work at Schmackary's - though y'all should hop on that sweet, sweet bandwagon if you haven't already! I haven't go-go danced much since I first moved to New York City four years ago, but since living in this city is so expensive I'm finding it more necessary to go out and find another job to supplement my income.

I really don't have expensive taste, but escorting on the side while holding two full-time jobs is near impossible as most of my clients are requesting me during hours in which I'm at work. Lunch break? Maybe. Still, structure is something with which I can work so if anyone out there has any gigs lined up for me whether it be on top of or behind the bar, I'm ready and willing to take it. Then again, you could always just hire me to be your house boy (!

We Are Less Than Eight Weeks Away From Halloween!

I spent Halloween 2013 in a drunken haze, somehow not tripping over my heels, and breaking an ankle. My first time in drag was as Elphaba from Wicked, and it was a BLAST! Although I may make a pretty girl, I surely walk like a man in stilts when placed in those ruby slippers. This year's costume is going to be even better than the ones from years past, and this time there will be a huge photo op with three of my lovely assistants!

You really won't want to miss this! We are only eight short weeks away from the glorious day though, folks, so start planning! I expect to see pictures!

I LOVE Being a Bottom (But Can Be Tricked Into Topping)

One of my biggest pet peeves is being asked the question, "what are you into?" It's pretty obvious, isn't it? If you've glanced at my profile it screams the fact that I'm a big ol' bottom so you should be a top who wants to stick it in me. It's really as simple as that. Bottoms who try to flip me into topping them are also more than thoroughly annoying. Do unto others as they would unto you. I'm not advertising as versatile, or even vers/bottom, so try your wiles on someone who wasn't a big contributer to the Big Book of Bottoming.

There are a rare few for whom I would flip, and you would know if you are one of them. The few times I've been tricked into topping were guys who'd flip the switch, slap a condom on my dick, and then slip it in faster than I could realize what was going on let alone object. If I come up to you and seem forward or aggressive it's because I'm a power bottom. If I like it, I'll put a cock ring on it.

Who Needs Boys When You Have a Dog?

Enough said.

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