Thursday, July 19, 2012

Online "Dating" and You

We, as gay men, have such awesome control of our sexual escapades (or as I like to fondly refer to them - our sexcapades) that we have a responsibility, not only to ourselves but to those with whom we meet, to communicate our needs and wants... in bed. There's a lot to be said about online encounters and the etiquette behind them, but for now we'll start with the basics. Two important elements in any relationship, whether it be with a random hookup, friend with benefits, or partner, are honesty and communication.

I much preferred you with the beard.

I'm sure we've all come across that profile of someone to whom we are attracted and finally decide to meet only to find that, between the time it took to send your last message and meeting them in person, they've aged fifteen years, shrunk seven inches, and changed ethnicities. What I really appreciate about dudesnude that separates it from all the other, erm, "dating" websites is their verification feature which allows users to confirm their identity by submitting a picture of themselves holding up a handwritten verification code for the website administrators to approve.

I don't limit myself to strictly interacting with verified profiles but it is good to know that the person on the other side of the screen is who they say they are and appear to be. There are way too many fake profiles and pictures, flakey people, and generally basic bitches out there on the Internet so one really can't take enough precautions. It's odd how the presence of a computer screen causes some of us to forget common sense and the rules of real social interaction.

Above is a good example of how not to deal with rejection. Oh, here's another for poops and giggles.

No one is at fault when one party isn't attracted to or interested in the other, so don't send a rude, condescending, and overall bitch-tastic message in response to their "thanks, but I'm not interested"? Get over yourself and move on.

There are plenty of fish in the sea... or in this case online profiles. It really is astounding how we have access to sex, dates, friends, or whatever else we may be looking for on these websites, at the tips of our fingers. There's a smart phone application for everything these days, but upon finding the perfect description of or chatting with Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now how can you ensure that the chemistry and sparks will translate upon meeting him face to face? The answer lies within, young padawan. It is your responsibility to make sure you have a good time. After all, aren't we all really in this for self-gratification?

The thing I always tell my friends is to never be shy about expressing what you do and don't like with your current partner, but of course it's all about the approach. You wouldn't want to hear that your kissing skills are comparable to that of a giant clam engulfing someone's face, leaving them soaked in your saliva - especially if everyone before them has told you that you were totally fine. No, it's all about approach. It will benefit not only you, in this current situation, but also your partner in their future endeavors.

Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands... or fingers.

If you happened to come across my blog hoping it will just be pictures and videos of hot naked guys, here's a gratuitous gif of a boy pleasuring himself. If you read this far down and will only take one thing away from this posting it should be this lesson: do ask, and do tell. I want y'all to have fun out there, just make sure to wrap it up, and never underestimate the power of your own hand.

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