Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Not So Sexy Pet Peeves

I cannot place enough stress on the importance of communication in a relationship whether it be with your long-term partner, fuck buddy, friend with benefits, or random hookup. You're only hindering yourself from fully enjoying the experience if you don't voice your likes, concerns, but most importantly your dislikes and pet peeves. I've compiled a list of the top five not so sexy pet peeves I've across over the past summer, I'm sure I have a few others but here are the ones of which this power bottom has thought.

Lube Is A Bottom's Best Friend
A good top uses enough lube to slick up he and his partner for the initial entry, a great top keeps the engine well-oiled if he wants to continue riding it long and hard. There really is no such thing as "too much" lube, if you say it just gets too messy then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Sex is messy. If you're really concerned about your sheets then invest in a quality playsheet - I love NastyPig's product and will forever endorse them. If you're to take one thing from this piece of advice let it be to lube, lube, and lube again!
Clip Your Nails Before You Finger Anyone
I surely hope the mere thought of such an unfortunate occurrence made you cringe in pain so much that I don't have to explain this one for y'all. I've had a handful of partners who made this mistake with me and it completely killed the mood. As much as we all love having hard objects buried inside us, it's never fun when that hard object is also quite sharp and could tear skin. Had enough of the visuals? Good. Trim your damn fingernails!

Do you want to meet up? "Sorry, I'm just looking to chat."
I'm sorry, too, but I didn't join this gay hookup website for pen pals. We all have our reasons for joining any social networking website or application but the majority of us are looking for a more of a connection than one from behind an LCD screen. Whether to meet guys to go on dates or a casual encounter, the point of many websites is to expedite the process of meeting people. If online chatting is enough for you, so be it - but when my profile says otherwise then don't waste either of our time.
"You're hot, but I think I'll just watch your videos and pictures instead of meeting up."
What the fuck? Why?
A few guys have been turned off from dating or even hooking up with me simply because of the nature of the work I do. Hook ups have voiced concerns regarding not meeting up with expectations and potential relationships worry about their jealousy and overall comfort level regarding sex for pay or the amount of extra-marital sex. There's a difference between not knowing what you want and insecurity, the latter for which I don't have time. I'm fairly confident in myself and at least know that, if I were to come up to you and introduce myself, I want you. The question is do you want me, too?

Bad Kissers
Please refrain from slobbering all over me, chewing on my lips, trying to engulf my face whole, or lashing your tongue left and right as if you were a serpent. Just... kiss me. Don't know how? I'll teach you. No one's ever complained or said otherwise? They were trying to be polite and, in the process, have created a monster. I say this with love and understanding, not to embarrass or condemn, but to correct and aid this situation and all future encounters. You are oh so very welcome.

Let me know if y'all have any questions, comments, concerns, or anything to add - this list will most likely be constantly updated!


  1. I finally thought of one.

    Here's what I dislike. If you're in bed with a guy and he's going to cum, let it loose and let me know you're having one! Don't keep quiet and just stop moving since you're done and expect me to count your breaths. My body has just helped your body climax. Let me know you appreciate it by being vocal about it.

    How was that?

  2. Kage, u r very much correct. I cant stand that once u get a guy off he doesnt always respond in kind and let u do the same...

  3. Good advice! Every point you made is correct!