Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Hair Fail

Earlier this year I placed the fate of my hair in y'all's hands via a poll I put up on this blog. If you couldn't tell based on the picture above it's been growing out nicely, cascading over my face, and relentlessly curling in all the wrong places. I've gotten mixed reviews regarding its shaggy appearance and will leave the decision to the general public once again. As we've seen throughout the years, decisions regarding my style should always be put up to vote because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. Let's look at the different forms my hair has taken over the last decade.

Short hair is always a fun option and really brings out my caterpillar eyebrows, which I know everyone loves. It hasn't been until recently that I've even attempted the coif or pompadour which I rocked at last year's HustlaBall New York so that it wouldn't get in the way of me shoving a cock down my throat. It's a different look which I like to play with every now and then. The twinky bottoms all love it and squeal a high-pitched, "Oh mah gah! You look, like, totes masc with your hair pushed back!"

I am most known for my longer locks, though, and have worn it in several different variations throughout the year from my surfer boy phase to that one time I thought dying it blonde was a great idea. How I got laid during that latter phase of my life, I have absolutely NO idea, but I not only judge myself for making such a bad hair fail but everyone who thought it was acceptable to allow me to keep it for as long as I did. There was even that time in college when goth was cool for all of three seconds and I let my girlfriends straighten my hair and slap eyeliner over my eyes. In general, though, you can see me strutting down the street with my side bangs blowing in the wind.

The worst case scenario if I make another hair fail or just can't decide on what to do with my hair is to just don a wig and become a drag queen. The only two times I've ever been in drag were as Elphaba last Halloween and my opening act for this year's Black Party. We know I look good as a blonde, so maybe I should actually try dying it properly this time? What do y'all think?

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